One writer’s personal experience:

There is much misconception regarding self-harm. Not only are the reasons why people self-harm often misunderstood but who the self-harmers actually are is a surprise to many.

It is funny the stigma that self-harm carries. Take for example people who over eat, people who smoke or binge drink. Are these not examples of self-harm? It is amazing to find that there are still people in this world and “professional” people as well who think self-harm is all about teenage girls in their bedrooms cutting themselves because they want attention or because they are listening to the wrong music.

Self-harm takes many forms and affects many people, young or old, male or female. It matters not whether these people are successful in their professions or whether or not they have money or luxury. Self-harm affects many people in many circumstances.

Now, all I can offer is the reasons why self-harm came into my life. Since being involved in self-harm groups I have discovered that my reasons are very similar to others. What we are talking about here is the reason to self-harm at that precise moment and not the reasons why the need to self-harm started in the first place. This is an important point to bear in mind. How we all got to where we are is infinite yet how we deal with the pain or trauma or hurt can be very similar indeed.

For me and for many that I have met it all comes down to pressure. There may be an event or a memory or a comment that triggers the pressure build up and if there is no rapid release then the self-harm can occur. For me personally a quick and deep cut on the arm was like lifting the top of a pressure cooker. This may sound graphic but at soon as I saw blood flowing I was different. It was as if the person cutting suddenly disappeared and the person doing the bandaging and the clean up was now at hand. There were no dark thoughts or anger or emotional pain any more. That had all flowed out from the cut. There was now a remarkable sense of peace and comfort with the tightness of the bandage and the tenderness of the cut that lay beneath. I could then carry on my day with the pressure gone.

I was a professional man, good at my job, had received commendations and one of the first in the country to complete a new training programme in animal welfare. Yet the pain inside was so devastating that it had to be expressed at some point. That was the problem, the fact that I had to hold it all together; or thought that I needed to hold it together.

I had one colleague who was astonished at my state as she found me drunk on the floor in my home one day covered in fresh scars. She had no idea that all of this was going on within me. I shall not go into the reasons why I felt so much pain however; I will say that I received no help professionally. There was no understanding of my condition or any plan for my recovery. The subject of self-harm was never even mentioned by these “professionals”! This lack of help certainly made things worse and I knew that I was not far from finalising my stay upon this planet. The self-harm continued for it did offer some release yet the intensity of pressure that triggered the self-harm became more frequent as I realised there was no hope or help.

Then one day, out of the blue, I decided to develop my own therapy since no one else seemed interested. It is a tale too long to tell, suffice to say that I am still here, I am now doing something I love and my biggest desire is to share all of this.

So we now know that many people self-harm. There are psychiatrists who self-harm, soldiers, people who work in supermarkets, musicians, business men and women and so on. The self-harm can be cutting, biting, overdosing, starving, pulling hair or punching oneself. A sense of guilt and shame and anger can spark self-harm and the intense need for pressure to be released is what makes self-harm an option.

So please do not judge. If you know a self-harmer then comfort them and help them and make them know that you are there for them and will not judge their self-harming. Do not try to take the self-harm away without guidance and support, for the pressure build up could prove disastrous.

If you are a self-harmer then please understand that you are not alone. There are groups available that are run by self-harmers and therefore know what you are going through because they have and are going through the same. Above all do not judge yourself. Do not feel guilty for self-harming. In many ways you are braver than anyone could ever know.

Article source: http://www.articleoutlook.com