Verbal abuse is a very insidious and nasty form of abuse as there are no scars to show, no bruises to heal and bones to mend. Verbal abuse is cruel and a form of psychological torture that needs to be dealt with early on.
The problem with asking for help with verbal abuse is getting someone to take you seriously; this is especially true if the abuser is a family member and the verbal abuse victim tries to seek help from other family members. At best, there is often the advice, ‘Just ignore it’ and at worst, ‘It’s all in your head.’ Verbal abuse is very, very real and extremely damaging.
Verbal abuse actually does leave scars and bruises, at deep emotional and psychological levels. The verbal abuse may continue for many years and the emotional trauma will build up within the sufferer and at some point will manifest. This could be anything from depression to suicide. Another classic result of verbal abuse is self-harm and self-mutilation. The anger festers within the abuse victim and links with the guilt and the shame felt at a deep level; when you cannot turn to anyone else then you start taking these emotions out on yourself. This is where self-harm develops and can be anything from overdosing on paracetamol to cutting.
I often see parents talking to their children in such an abusive manner that it sends chills through me. I remember the endless teasing and taunting that I experienced as well as continuous criticism. This lead to depression, self-harm and attempted suicide as all self-worth had been removed.
Children who suffer from verbal abuse will suffer later on in life as the guilt and the anger start to rise to the surface. Of course, verbal abuse is not just directed towards children, spouses, both men and woman, can suffer from verbal abuse as well as elderly people in families or in nursing homes. The point is, verbal abuse is a cruel and nasty form of abuse that leaves as much trauma as any other form of abuse. It needs to be caught early on and stopped!
If you suffer from verbal abuse then take it seriously. You owe it to yourself to talk to someone and to seek help. You can approach your doctor, trusted friends and support groups. Support groups for verbal abuse are very useful, for they show the sufferer that they are not alone and that others have experienced the same. This recognition can be the start of healing.
Remember, whatever the verbal abuser is telling you about yourself is not so. Seek help and begin the path to stopping verbal abuse by taking the first steps towards recovery; tell someone what is going on.
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In this shallow world it seems people are judged not for who they are but what they look like…My granddaughter is not a shallow, stick insect person, and suffered verbal (& physical) abuse for years from kids at school because of her weight. The situation got so bad she started self-harming, and we as her family decided we had no other option but to remove her from that school. She is now 19 years old has moved 300 miles away from those people, but her self-esteem and confidence is still non existent
Thank you for sharing; verbal abuse can sometimes be more harmful than physical abuse.
I wish you and your Granddaughter well.