If you know someone who self-harms, then it is important first to understand that it is a common issue. Many people, from all walks of life, self-harm in a number of ways. It may be substance abuse, cutting, biting a many other methods. Regardless of the form it takes, self-harm can become a lifestyle simply because there seems to be no other way to cope with the emotional stress or pressure.
The first step when dealing with self-harm is to suspend all judgement. For this moment you need to accept the self-harm as part of the healing process; the worst things is to judge and suddenly try to stop the self-harming. Remember, self-harm is a coping mechanism and a release of pressure. To get to the point of self-harming means that there is a tremendous amount of emotional pain; this pain brings pressure and if the self-harm is suddenly stopped then the pressure build up could result in tragic consequences.
Self-harmers are very private about why they self-harm and especially how they self-harm. Ask questions and offer support but do not interrogate or try to force the issue. I know this is hard if you are a parent and obviously you need to ensure your child’s safety so approach the subject calmly and without judgement; this approach can really work wonders.
Another point to remember is that a self-harmer is more likely to offload to strangers than to family; this is where the beauty of self-harm support groups comes in. These groups are often lead by self-harmers and no one knows the problem more than they do! Use the internet or your local medical practices to find groups that help with self-harm, they are sometimes not easy to find but there are also self-harm forums available. A word of caution though, as with any online forums, you will get people that you will want to avoid and some forums revel in sharing self-harm methods without there being hope for healing.
Self-harm is nothing to be ashamed of and is more common than people imagine. It is not about attention seeking or simply being an angry young teenager; in fact, many adults self-harm for many reasons. Self-harm is the result of intense sadness, guilt, shame or any other form of emotional trauma and is thus a coping mechanism. So please treat them with kindness, compassion and understanding and please seek help from support groups and the medical profession; self-harm does not have to be a way of life.
Resources: http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/self-harm
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